Truffle Butter

March 15, 2015 - Leave a Response

I was Beyonce Saturday morning.

Perhaps I was on a high after my Soul Cycle class, but something compelled me to sing every Beyonce song while getting ready.


I’m surprised we didn’t get complaints of a dying animal in apartment 201, because I was going after it especially when I remembered there was a Dreamgirls soundtrack.


Maybe I was in such a good mood because there was another llama run on Friday, or because it was 90 degrees and a Bungalow Saturday.

2.26.15- Never Forget

2.26.15- Never Forget

I’ll only say this-

There should be a blacklist at the Bungalow.

After entering the outside area, I actually almost tore the tent down because it created a greenhouse effect of trapping heat.

Cooling off

Cooling off

No bueno.

Especially no bueno because everyone migrated to the main room.

We bopped to Venice for some air and wine and ended up listening to Truffle Butter too many times.

Is there such thing?

Literally, LOL to the bank checkin’ my account.

Enough said.

Enough said.



Things got real weird Sunday morning when I discovered my Uber driver added me on Facebook.


Sunday wasn’t totally weird as we cheered on our friend David in the LA marathon, had a bloody mary, and met my spirit animal on San Vicente.

Soul Mate

Soul Mate


I also put on an apron and whipped up a culinary masterpiece from my good friend Ina.








February 25, 2015 - Leave a Response

I was attacked in San Francisco.

By Fireball, Corgi’s, and a drunk cholo on Chestnut.
Ok, well maybe not the first two, those were consensual. What was not was some drunk esé casually grabbing my boob while walking past me at 7PM on the way to dinner.


Sexually assaulted in San Fran.

1. Can you fucking not?

2. What just happened?

3. I would react, but then again, don’t feel like dying before going to Delarosa for dinner.

Besides the above, my trip to SF was a reminder of how great my friends are.


And…How our Arizona habits come out in full force since I am pretty sure I visited every bar, in every neighborhood.
Zero to 100.



Somehow Saturday turned into Fraturday at Fort Mason…

The calm before the storm...

The calm before the storm…

We also had a mascot named Max that my friend Kelsey was dog sitting for.

Many thanks to Kelsey, Jessica, Brooke, Lizzy, Kimmy K. for being great hosts up in the Bay.





February 23, 2015 - Leave a Response

I moved into my apartment because of a tree.

An olive tree.


It may seem silly, but I chose my room in my apartment because of the tree.

The tree is gone.

It looks like district 12 when I look out my window.



At least there is wine and food to make me forget about the olive tree.





Paradise Lost

January 27, 2015 - Leave a Response

I can’t escape it.

Once again, I found myself in the middle of a white trash bash.

After spending all Saturday at my second home (The Bungalow), a drive down the coast to the ‘bu on Sunday seemed like a good idea.

The calm before the storm

The calm before the storm

After an hour of traffic, we finally made it to the isolated Paradise Cove.

We out here.

What we found was an hour and a half wait for a table, an abundance of European tourists, and aggressive seagulls.

We opted for the “take-out menu” which was equivalent to eatin’ crab out in Malibu at Nobu with the prices.


$17.50 for a hot dog…

After spending around $80, we attempted to find a place to sit.

Since all the chairs were taken, we sat on a rock covered in what looked like white chalk, but what I’ve come to realize is it was a dried up material that came from a seagull.



As we ate on our rock eating our overpriced meal, all of a sudden, we hear techno music coming from an iPhone.

Standing behind us looked like the criminals from Taken, shirtless, with a 30-pack of beers and nipple piercings.

Did I mention it was also cloudy and cold?


That was our cue, to peace the fuck out.

We headed to the JC for numerous margs and a steak dinner, because we deserved it.


Alors on Danse,


Country Cabo

January 12, 2015 - Leave a Response

I had my concerns about returning to Cabo.


I feared the destruction from Hurricane Odile would depress me since I have visited Cabo all of my life. Literally, I went when I was nine weeks old.



Cabo was still standing!

After over-eating and many hours of much needed sleep, I headed to the pool to relax and listen to the waves crash on the sand with a marg in hand.

What I heard was not the waves.

Country Cabo.

What the hell.


Country music, cowboy hats, and beer cans floating in the pool- This was not how I envisioned the start of my five-day vacation.


Glaring at the WT

Thank god, I discovered Serial and was able to drown out these crazy hillbillies.


I took off my headphones for a few minutes to inhale a quesadilla, when one of the members of the Cabo Country crew came out of the water and said to me,

“Don’t you think it’s funny how no one is getting out of the pool to use the bathroom.”


No, I do not think that’s funny.

Jesus Christo.


After a night of pretending we were back on Spring Break 09′, we hopped in a van to go to Mango Deck and to pretend, once again we were back in college.

No Mas Jello Shots!

No Mas Jello Shots!

Imagine an MTV spring break show.

Then remember how your concerned parents would always make you change the channel or turn off MTV?


Well, a few kids were able to experience this spring break re-enactment live.

A mother and her two kids, probably around eight and eleven-years-old were sitting in front and center for the lap dance contest.

The mom sipped some sort of white wine and clapped during the contests, while her two kids were confused by what they were watching.

So disturbing and sad.


While I did not participate in the contests, I did enjoy the 2 for 1 drinks, the scary henna tattoos, and a large quesadilla.

The Mango Deck Facebook page tells a very different story.

Ugh. The caption.

I can’t.




Happy New Year

January 10, 2015 - Leave a Response

While I love traveling to New York for NYE, it was nice to stay in LA and not have my paycheck go to a ticket to an event.

2014 was A GREAT year, and I hope that 2015 is the same, if not better.

Happy New Year!





Ombre Glitter nails



I tweeted this three times. I did not get the free Uber ride.


First Brunch of 2015

Christmas Unsupervised

December 23, 2014 - Leave a Response

Aw hell, round two.

Every year, there is a different struggle with the Christmas lights and every year, I am always there to moderate, and serve as the creative director.


First it was the blue LED lights, then the mini hurricane that knocked out half the lights on the hedges, now it is my lack of presence that has left our house in disarray.

My tree #art

My tree #art

I’m surprised the homeowner’s association hasn’t called the Jones residence.
Our lights literally look like the Grinch and I put them up after 4 bottles of chardonnay.





I suppressed my light comments, and saw another Christmas staple was not on point.

The angel that goes at the top of the tree, was dangling on its side.


I was not included or present for these Christmas festivities, since I flew to Chicago #burr for work last weekend.


I arrived in the Chi to 29 degree weather which everyone pretty much scoffed at my sorrows since when it’s not in the negatives there, we might as well get tans, right?


The Chicagoans also scoffed at me as I crossed the bridge on State Street.

Because the bridges rise for the boats, there are very large gaps.


Don’t be deceived, the bridge is a death trap

I’m boppin’ around the Chi confused by my Venti hot SKPM (I had no idea what to order at Starbs besides an iced coffee) and stopped on the bridge to look at the river.


All of a sudden, a bus goes over the bridge and it starts bouncing up and down opening the already way too large gap.

I screamed holding my coffee and breakfast sandwich thinking I was about to plunge to my death in the freezing cold water and totally have a Titanic moment.


You can imagine what a sight this was.


My boss said it best, “well at least you would have died with your two favorite things. Starbucks and food.”



Much love,


Holiday Consequences

December 7, 2014 - Leave a Response

Numerous people at my office have asked why I have been a black swan lately.

Birthday Peonies 1

Birthday Peonies 1

“You’ve worn black two days in a row. Are you in mourning?”

Yes. I am mourning my summer body.

The amount of food i’ve consumed over the past two weeks could feed a baby killer whale.


I can only blame my eating habits on the beautiful burr weather and the holiday season.

Birthday Peonies 2

Birthday Peonies 2

Between Thanksgiving aka the ultimate food fiesta, and my birthday aka the day I think eating a cheeseburger and a bowl of pasta is totally acceptable, I am still full and will be until 2015.





My favorite pasta at my new favorite restaurant Pecorino

I’ve also lived Mas twice in the past 24 hours…

It was necessary with the celebration of the holiday party.



I will be in the Chi next week and will be in the ULTIMATE burr climate so I’ll probably need to do two-a-days at Soul Cycle before I leave for Cabo in January.

My future home

My future home





Live Más

November 24, 2014 - Leave a Response

My pseudo birthday weekend started off wonderful.


Pseudo, because my real birthday is December 3rd.

Despite driving across the state to pick up my friend Sean from Burbank airport, the weekend began at Spago where I nearly inhaled the salmon pizza that I haven’t had since legit ’09.



I woke up on Saturday feeling refreshed and ready to Live Mas, when once again, I was scorned by the Brentwood parking gods.

Screen Shot 2014-11-23 at 7.16.54 PM

The schedule


I tried to invoke sympathy on this parking devil saying it was “my birthday” and flailed my arms as I ran out of Starbucks attempting to stop him.

He obviously did not believe me/ must have known it was my pseudo birthday.

His response:

“First of all, happy birthday (so sarcastic). Second, i’ve already processed the ticket.”

My sadness was gone once I got to watch the interaction with Sean, a first time nail salon customer, interact with the employees.

You can see he took full advantage of their services.


I was desperate for the “Cheers Bitches” sign and knew I would be able to find it at this magical balloon store on Montana. Ave.



“We just sold the last one to a 13-year-old girl for her Bat Mitzvah.”

Totally appropriate…


It was a great night and I definitely lived Mas.



As in, I literally went to Taco Bell at 2am.


Special thanks to everyone who came out and celebrated my increasing age…


My chef

Special thanks to my roommate OP and my mom Carms for running around LA to prepare. Also, thank you to my friends for helping me warm all of the Trader Joe’s food when I was frazzled.




I may be getting old, but at least there’s chardonnay and llamas in this world.

UA Homecoming in Photos

November 24, 2014 - Leave a Response




Resting before the AZ Inn ice cream bar

Enjoying the frat life before greek life  become extinct… sigh

Enjoying the #fratlife before greek life become extinct… sigh

Brunchin' at the Inn

Brunchin’ at the Inn


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