Paradise Lost

I can’t escape it.

Once again, I found myself in the middle of a white trash bash.

After spending all Saturday at my second home (The Bungalow), a drive down the coast to the ‘bu on Sunday seemed like a good idea.

The calm before the storm
The calm before the storm

After an hour of traffic, we finally made it to the isolated Paradise Cove.

We out here.

What we found was an hour and a half wait for a table, an abundance of European tourists, and aggressive seagulls.

We opted for the “take-out menu” which was equivalent to eatin’ crab out in Malibu at Nobu with the prices.


$17.50 for a hot dog…

After spending around $80, we attempted to find a place to sit.

Since all the chairs were taken, we sat on a rock covered in what looked like white chalk, but what I’ve come to realize is it was a dried up material that came from a seagull.



As we ate on our rock eating our overpriced meal, all of a sudden, we hear techno music coming from an iPhone.

Standing behind us looked like the criminals from Taken, shirtless, with a 30-pack of beers and nipple piercings.

Did I mention it was also cloudy and cold?


That was our cue, to peace the fuck out.

We headed to the JC for numerous margs and a steak dinner, because we deserved it.


Alors on Danse,