RiVeR RaTzZ

by lcjonesla

Before I left for Lake Havasu, my co-worker had some parting words on a survival tactic for my Labor Day weekend adventure:

“Channel your inner Britney Spears. Embrace the trucker hat and ripped shorts. Walk into a bathroom with no shoes on.”

IMG_3427

I would say that the beginning of the trip started off similar to the film “Lake Placid.”

The water and the vibe was calm, relaxing, almost tranquil. But by the end of the film, the alligator (our group) had completely lost control and was wreaking havoc on the lake.

The calm before the storm

The calm before the storm

Day 1

Started with wakeboarding (not me), cliff jumping (me), and black eye tubing.

Not me

Not me

I looked like a euphoric wet squirrel, clutching on the tube before flying off face first into the water.

IMG_3410

I’ll preface this next part by saying that I went to the U of A.

I’ve “hydrated” in extreme temperatures and elements and none have affected me like the #lakelife.

IMG_3409

I received a concerned text from my friend Natasha by the end of the day 1, asking if I was seasick, which I instantly disregarded because I am no amateur water person.

I’ve sailed, banana boated, water-skied, and bobbed in Cabo and Catalina for years.

IMG_3408

No problem.

I found out later that she was referring to the after-effect of the #lakelife when back on land of which came in hot and out of nowhere.

I felt fine, then all of a sudden, a whirl pool hit my head at 8pm.

So scary!

Despite my borderline heat stroke, we enjoyed an amazing dinner that revitalized me, and brought us back to life.

Britney was back.

IMG_3423

Day 2

The group walked to our station, which was titled a “pontoon” and set up camp for the day.

The K-Fed to my Britney had to snap me back to reality since I was literally standing there mouth agape.

IMG_3417

This was when the WT emerged, or really I should say floated, down the river.

Sweet.Mother.Of.Pearl.

IMG_3414

Pasties, thongs, and diamond accessories- this is what LDW Havasu dreams are made of.
Our group was not into the above trends, but it was funny the number of times thsat someone asked if I had a trucker hat since I didn’t know after Von Dutch and Ashton rocked them back in ‘03 they were still current.

IMG_3412

I found one in the house, and transformed into Britney.

Full Force.

Legit Britney and K-Fed

Legit Britney and K-Fed

We somehow managed to make it out to a bar called Kokomos, which is the American version of Squid Roe.

Shooters, cages, and platforms.

Oh and accessories were available to purchase in case you were feeling flirty.

IMG_3411

Despite the detoxing and serious hydrating required for the next two weeks, the trip was worth the whirlpool and six hour drive, and I would definitely like to return, but maybe pre-alligator havoc.

IMG_3422

Xx,

Britney