Family vacations are already bizarre, but when the main activity on the itinerary is drinking, it is hard to feel like you’re not on an episode of a reality show.
Carms played Kris, and summoned the family to Santa Barbara Wine country for weekend filled of charcuterie and chardonnay.
My only request was to not visit that broken town of Solvang.
I can’t recount my terror there, but every time someone in the town of Santa Ynez mentioned it in casual conversation, a subtle flinch occurred.
We arrived to the house, and immediately I felt like LiLo in the parent trap when she arrives at the home of her long last father’s house in Napa.
Instead of being greeted by Dennis Quaid and an eager golden retriever, I walked into the kitchen to find my slightly tipsy parents and Aunt two bottles deep in Sauv Blanc and rosé.
The house was incredible.
There was a vineyard (casual), a hot tub, and an ATV.
Unfortunately, the ATV was off limits, but probably for the best, as Giggles wining and driving on rough terrain would be no bueno!
Santa Ynez is only two hours from Los Angeles, but I definitely got my dose of rural.
After the second bottle of wine was uncorked, the family relaxed on the patio, while enjoying cheese and the sunset.
All was calm, until a flurry of yellow jackets attacked our picturesque moment, causing shattered wine glasses and nearly stumbling into the pool.
Jordan nearly got into a car accident when I saw a “real” pumpkin patch on our drive up,
On the way to the vineyards in the Sprinter (pre-wine), I pointed out every horse, cow, and squirrel. There was definite judgement from our driver, Tomás.
No one cried, and everyone took Advil on Sunday.
Overall, a successful family vacation.