Catastrophe

by lcjonesla

Round two:

My life sucks once again.

What’s worse than the apocalypse?

Armageddon.

Cammie and I were on our way from Paris to Milan.

This morning, I asked Cammie to pack my make up bag in her big suitcase since I have zero room in my 80-pound bag.

I also wanted her to carry it because my longchamp was filled with my electronics including my scary iphone 3g, my computer, and my ipad.

I made an effort to put my two bags right next to me, not on the overhead when we got on the train.

I immediately took out my computer to start on giggles since I have been way behind.

I edited some photos on my computer (not iphone) and then put my computer away.

Cammie came over and suggested we parlay at the mini bar in the next carriage. We left our bags zipped up in the overhead.

Our train had been delayed and stuck in a field in the middle of France because apparently someone had jumped in front of a train at our next stop.

As tragic as that sounds, Cammie and I were happy as clams drinking our white wine admiring at the French countryside.

I came back to my seat, wrote a blog entry, and then took a tiger snooze with my longchamp and purse right next to me.

I woke up in a chardonnay daze, and low and behold, I realized my ipad was missing.

I immediately turned to the middle aged couple who were my allies and asked them if they had seen anyone take my ipad.

Then I run and get Cammie and we search through my obese suitcase.

Nothing.

My hypothesis:

During my tiger snooze my longchamp was against the train with the zipper unzipped.

I think someone reached under my seat and grabbed the long champ and took the iPad.

I called my parents hysterical once a-fuggin-gain.

My dad goes, “the French stole your phone, the Italians stole your ipad, who will steal your heart Lisa?”

No one, since I have morphed into Liam Neeson from Taken.

As we approach our next destination, Italy, I only have one thing to say- “I have acquired a set of skills. I will find you…”

Good Luck.