This weekend was perfect.
I was a disaster.
I almost didn’t have a bridesmaid dress, nearly fainted in the church, and realized Giggles cannot act like a 22-year-old.
The wedding was perfect. I mean Grace Kelly, Kate Middleton, Kim/Kanye Italy kind of perfect. The bride and groom were like movie stars/royalty. Really, I felt like I was at the 2018 royal wedding, but I was Meghan Markle’s dad.
To understand, you must know the timeline:
- 7:00pm transformation from uncooked turkey to golden brown (spray tan)
- 7:00am Drybar
- 8:00am Leave for Santa Barbara
- 11:00am Bridal brunch
- 4:00pm Rehearsal at church
- 6:30pm Rehearsal Dinner
- 8:00am Hair & make up
- 12:00pm Pictures
- 1:30pm leave for church
- 2:00pm ceremony
It all started when I got a call at 5:30pm on Thursday.
“Hello, this is Fazio. Your dress is taking longer than expected for the tailor. It won’t be ready until 5pm tomorrow.”
I froze. Usually, I would step into a conference room for this sort of catastrophe, but couldn’t hold back my anger and unleashed.
I called Carms, and was scolded for being irresponsible with my timing of the tailor.
Since she was attending, she agreed to drive the dress while I fulfilled my bridesmaid duties.
Friday came, and I thought, a new day is here, but was still fragile from Fazio and wrapped my coat around me like a security blanket at the Drybar.
We arrived in Santa Barbara and all of my troubles seemed to disappear.
Perhaps it was because I literally left them in Los Angeles.
We spritzed, rehearsed, and headed off to dinner and all seemed to be going well.
The next morning- Where’s the Advil?
I swooped my items and headed for hair and make up at 7:45am.
The make up artist really had her work cut out for her- I was in the chair for an hour and a half sipping charcoal lemonade, nibbling on a croissant, with my jacket as a blanket.
All I could think of was Carms chastising me about my irresponsibility.
The bride looked regal. I gasped and teared when I saw her in her dress.
It really is such a special moment seeing one of your dearest friends who you’ve been through chapters of life with, get married. It’s v surreal.
We hopped on the bus, and headed to the church without a moment to spare.
At this point Giggles was majorly dehydrated and really not doing well.
I sat down in the pew and immediately regretted my tequila intake.
Holy hell. I am going to pass out.
At one point, I moved my bouquet over and scooted closer to my dear friend Cammie, knowing that if I fainted, she would catch me.
God was on my side, and I made it through the ceremony, only to find the holy water in the back of the church AKA the Arrowhead jug that saved me.
At the reception, I learned I was not alone in this feeling and heard many had discovered the holy water mid ceremony.
It was the most perfect wedding, with the most beautiful bride, and I wish I could do it all over again… With a few less margaritas.
Giggles Key Takeaways
- Get your bridesmaid dress hemmed the day after you have it in your possession.
- Tone it down at the rehearsal dinner and consume all the carbohydrates you can find.
- Carry a water flask.
- Live in the moment, even if it’s being hungover on your friends wedding day.