I knew nothing of this tranquil place, except that the housewives rented a villa there, and that my friend had a spiritual experience with some mud at the spa.

My dear friend Grey has been discussing this treatment called a Kuyam since he went to Ojai in 2016.

He described having an out of body experience while in a meditative state, and that it was life altering and a must if going to Ojai.

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Jordan decided to surprise me and book a Kuyam and a massage at the spa.

I have not been to a spa since like ’03, so I was super excited for this luxe experience.

We arrived at The Inn, and immediately felt at home. Ojai is a bit of an odd place- You have desert-esque mountains, Mediterranean vibes of Palm Springs, but a feeling of also being in a mountain town with some of the trees.

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It was a bit disorienting, but after a glass of sauv b, I was immersed in The Ojai.

What is great about the Ojai Vibe is how casual and relaxed everyone is.

You’ll see in my photos that I look pretty haggard since the #ojaiuniform was a Patagonia, lulu pants, and no make up. Which from living in LA, is a nice change of pace.

We got lost finding our room. Classic.

Also in Ojai was Michelle Obama, who sat with me by the fire every night as I sat with a face mask and relished in my relaxation.

Just me and Michelle. Not pictured- my bottle glass of pinot noir.

Night one we headed to Nocciola restaurant in the town of Ojai. When I say the food was impeccable, it was. If you go to Ojai, GO HERE.


Our pre-spa day consisted of bike rides, lattes, farmer’s markets, and rosé. It was heaven.

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Then we got to the spa… and things went awry post massage and lunch.

I had concerns about the Kuyam since I do not like saunas or steam rooms. In fact when I get the occasional bootleg facial, I push that face sauna (steam) away because I find it to be claustrophobic.

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Grey assured me that it was in a big tiled room with ice water and misters.

We walked into the tile room and it felt like the facial steam X 10 and it was not a big room. It was tiled but with no windows. Then they turned off the lights and a recorded meditation came over.

Panicked and feeling suffocated, I chugged ice water and piled on the mud in the hopes that it would alleviate my claustrophobia.

Post Kuyam, you shower then head to a patio for nuts and tea. How about some sauv b?!

I was anxious to get on the patio and barely washed off the mud so even outside, I could not escape the Kuyam.

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Post-Kuyam and pretending to drink sauv b.

If you’re not claustrophobic with heat, then I recommend it.

Overall, Ojai was fab and I would recommend to anyone looking for an escape from the LA lyfe, to head to there to recharge and disconnect while enjoying delish food and the spiritual sauna.




The Greatest Hits


  • Ojai Valley Inn– Luxurious casual relaxation on a mega resort. Also dog friendly. I made so many friends including a golden retriever named moose.
  • Ojai Rancho Inn– Heard very positive things and has a Sparrows Lodge vibe. Minus the freeway.


  • Nocciola– Go. Don’t ask questions. I had the scallops and squid ink pasta.
  • Olivella– Luxe. And v expensive, but if you want small bites with power, go.
  • Tipple and Ramble– Wine bar with Parker-esque umbrellas.

To Do

  • Bike ride and picnic, play tennis, drink wine, sit by a fire with no make up and Michelle Obama, overeat.